A Glimpse of THE BIG AHA

There were times when life seemed more dreamlike than real, but in defense of the assumption the self is real, or must be real for me to be real, these thoughts were dismissed as “unscientific,” and even delusional. In spite of resistance, aka amnesia and trance, I was aware that ‘clients’ relied on suffering to portray ‘not okay people,’ convincingly. Since I didn’t want to know I was doing the same thing, too, even these insights were dismissed to preserve the assumption that right now is real, and not a dream, and that ‘suffering’ is sufficient to maintain the assumption that people are victims, enduring their difficult lives. I noticed, at some preconscious level, that clients said they wanted relief from their suffering, but when you began to meddle with the mechanism of suffering, resistance said, in effect, “I need my suffering to anchor the self as a real, less than okay self.” In my own unconscious state, I perceived this as a “strange paradox”: they pay good money to find relief from suffering at the conscious level of functioning, but the unconscious sends a very different message: “my suffering defines me, and even though I hate it, hating it keeps it in place as objectively awful.”

Once a client locks into the conclusion the self they have is ‘damaged,’ life provides the setting to live this assumption for the duration, if need be. The idea we are who we insist we are depends on the assumption the self, as we define it, exists as proof we are who we insist we are, including a ‘damaged person.’ The implication is a shocker: defending the assumption we are who the self says we are takes precedence over everything, including well being, happiness, love, and a life that is relatively trouble free. Suffering works to defend the assumption the self is real, and that ‘a suffering self’ is the epitome of the real. Apparently, the experience of suffering is secondary to the defense of the assumption the self is real.

A couple will finalize a marriage with the hidden intention of working as an invisible team to make life awful, which is a synonym for suffering. They enter marriage counseling because divorce may prove to be the end of their suffering. Once again what passes for paradox rears its head: they need the suffering they create to defend the assumption the self is real because our ‘personal existence’ is predicated on the assumption that ‘the self’ is proof for existence. Once you move in to identify how ‘they agree’ to keep life awful to keep it real, resistance shows up to keep the process of awfulization in place. They share the goal to work as a team to defend the assumption the self is real, and the truth is, the defense of the self is their hidden goal. The last thing they want to know is that they are both ‘at war with truth’ and hide this by making each other ‘the enemy.’

Later, after reading WWW’s “Open Secret,” I wondered what would happen if I got them to see they worked as a team, pretending to be ‘enemies,’ to keep the defense of the self on the front burner at all times. The results were not only astounding, they confirmed they ‘knew,’ at some unconscious level, this is why they got together in the first place, and this was what ‘the marriage’ was all about.

Time is the venue which features the sum of all the ways we defend the assumption the self, as we define it, is really real. The hidden implication suggests that we know the self is invented to defend the assumption that we are who we insist we are, okay or not okay people. The implication is obvious: you can’t defend who you insist you are without a self, and that the best defense for the assumption we are who we insist we are, is a self that suffers. The minute I saw this, I looked at every client using this as the template for understanding. It was clear, we work on two levels: there is what we know about the truth on the unconscious level, and then there is how we fill time on the conscious level to dismiss truth as if it is false. One thing stood out: if truth is absolute, then ‘regular suffering’ is required to maintain the fiction it is possible to prove truth is false. We suffer from the fact nothing can prove truth is false, not even with regular suffering. Everyone is ‘at war with truth’; amnesia shields us from this fact, and “reality” reflects how we fill time pretending it’s possible to prove truth is false. Everyone is engaged in a losing battle with truth, which means everyone is engaged in a parody. ‘Suffering’ can’t prove truth is false, which is at the core of what suffering is all about.

The day I read WWW’s “Open Secret,” it was as if I was in the right place at the right time. His synthesis of Buddhism provided “The Big Picture” for the anatomy of all suffering. It was as if I had been handed the manual for the game called “reality.” One thing was certain, the premises that underscore “The Human Condition” were false. We work as a huge team to defend “reality” as real, when in fact it looks like … there is what the truth is, and the collection of lies we defend as the truth to prove truth is false. “Reality” appears to be the output side of some huge equation, which captures the sum of all the ways we fill time ‘at war with truth,’ as if what we do will work to prove it is false, and if that isn’t sufficient, then we are willing, at some unconsciousness level, to use the suffering we create to sustain the fiction ‘the war with truth’ can be won. The implication is startling: everyone ‘knows,’ at some pre-conscious level, that ‘the war with truth’ is only a parody we keep in place as “reality.” No one actually believes what they do will work to cancel truth, but time is the venue for this parody. Everyone is engaged in this parody, and everyone displays how they fill time pretending ‘the war against truth’ is winnable. Suffering goes with the fiction we can prove truth is false in a parody.

What did WWW say that punched a gaping hole in the amnesia I counted on to obscure my investment in this parody? It was clear that if I could deconstruct the way I engaged in this parody, then I might discover that there is a template that governs the way everyone engages in this parody. I already suspected that there were rules that govern the architecture of this parody, and that, plus or minus, one size fits all. If who I portray, for example, requires the defense of the fiction the invented self is real, does this template include the rules that govern how everyone defends the invented self as real? Five years later, in spite of the power of amnesia, the rules came tumbling out of amnesia, whose goal was to defend the fiction duality is real; that there is a gap between what “reality” is, and what we pretend it is. By way of coming attractions, the two are always one.

What WWW said, pure and simple, is that something, we know not what, which we can refer to as “mind,” is dreaming ‘everything’ just the way it manifests, including ‘us,’ or the dreamers in this dream, who fill time engaged in a mind generated parody, in which we use the invented self to 1) play the part of ‘real people,’ as if dreamers in this dream can be that, and that 2) time displays the sum of all the ways the dreamers defend the lie they are the people they work so hard to portray in this dream. Mind, as ultimate subject, is the dreamer of this fantasy called “reality” in its entirety. Quite literally, there is no one to be the doer of anything whatsoever: the dream is always what ‘right now’ is, and it features where all the dreamers in this dream are with the fact mind is the source of this extravaganza.

What I read made the hair on my arms stand straight up. I felt a strange mixture of glee, that there was sense to life, albeit not the sense we refer to as “sense,” and that I knew that what he was saying was the truth, and that my life was the history of the parody I delivered in this dream. Suddenly, fear and insecurity made perfect sense: no dreamer in this parody is, or can ever be, a person, no matter how much emotion and suffering they bring to the parody to defend “The Master Lie,” that ‘this,’ right now, is real, and not content in the dream; and that all ‘the people’ are dreamers in this dream featured engaged in this parody. The dream includes ‘Psychology,’ and ‘Psychologists’ as part of the parody, working in tandem with ‘patients’ to defend “The Master Lie.” Mind was dreaming ‘The Grand Parody,” which includes the sum of all the ways the dreamers in this dream work as a team to keep the dream in place as “reality.”

And there was confusion, because it was clear that the best defense for the lie “reality” is real, and not the dream mind is dreaming, is the defense of the assumption that ‘a suffering self is a real self,’ and that the realness of this parody depended on the lie suffering existed outside of the dream mind was dreaming. What was clear is that if right now is the dream mind is dreaming, then nothing exists outside of the dream. Mind dreams it all, including how the dreamers in “The Grand Parody” rely on ‘regular suffering’ to maintain the fiction ‘the war on truth’ is a winnable battle. Suffering sustains the fiction truth is false, which isn’t possible if truth, or mind, is the source of ‘everything,’ aka “The Grand Parody.” This observation explained ‘the client’s reluctance of part with suffering’: without it, there is no way a dreamer in a dream can defend the fiction it is a genuine ‘tragic figure.’ Hating our suffering works to keep suffering in place as real; it is the dreamer’s ‘trump card’ in “The Grand Parody.

Psychologists don’t know it, at least not consciously, that there is no one to work with anyone because, if right now is only a mind generated dream, then there is no one to work with anyone about anything. The phrase “back to the drawing board” took on a new meaning: as a dreamer who knows that’s all we can be, I could work with dreamers who rely on regular suffering in “The Grand Parody” to prolong the fiction suffering is proof that ‘a suffering self is a real self.’ If right now is the dream mind is dreaming, people don’t suffer: dreamers suffer using suffering to drag out the fiction they can prove they are ‘real people.’ The good news is the dream, or right now, is the context for this parody, and that time is the venue for “The Grand Parody.” This shines some preliminary light on the origin of humor, which, in the ensuing years emerged as the only tool that works to assist a dreamer to ‘wake up’ in this dream. ‘Waking up’ occurs when a dreamer in “The Grand Parody” reconnects with how it fills time in “reality” engaged in the parody it relies on to defend the fiction it is a ‘real person,’ having a ‘real life,’ and more often than not, engaged in playing the part of a genuine ‘tragic figure.’ Is it any wonder that “The Victim Parody’ occupies center stage everywhere in this dream?

In the next installment, I will outline the basic architecture for “The Grand Parody” mind is dreaming, 24/7, around the clock, with not one exception, including ‘me sharing this with more of me.’ If mind is all there is, then mind dreams ‘duality’ as the cornerstone for “The Grand Parody.” There is no such thing, which makes its defense a real chore in this dream. All the dreamers already know duality is a hoax; what they don’t know, consciously, is that it is the fuel that keeps “The Grand Parody” in place, very possibly for ‘eternity.’

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